April 20, 2011

Three Principles for Tutors Seeking Success with Parents and Teachers

The following article was excerpted from the Advanced section of the Crossroads of Learning Tutoring Foundations Online Training and Classroom Workbook tutor training programs.

  • Trust45378272_white_man_with_ethnic_woman_pointing_at_computer.thb
  • Effective Communication
  • Empathy

Success in Parent-Tutor and Teacher (Faculty)-Tutor is predicated on three main principles: Trust, Effective Communication, and Empathy.  These principles serve as strong pillars for any effective, credible and productive professional relationship. Healthy relationships constructed on these three pillars stretch across gender, socio-economic lines, racial divides, political differences, and sexual orientation.  On this premise, the tutor must participate in professional development activities that reinforce the elements of trust, effective communication, and empathy.

Trust

How do we gain the trust of parents and teachers?  Parents and teachers have different concerns, needs, feelings, values, principles, perspectives, perceptions, goals, interests, and the like.  In general, people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  Therefore, tutors demonstrate their respect for the parent or teacher by taking the time to note and acknowledge the parent’s or teacher’s, concerns, needs, feelings, values, perspectives, perceptions, etc.

The Parent-Teacher and Parent-Tutor relationships are very similar.  Both the teacher and tutor are trained and participate in professional development, etc.  However, the tutor differs from the classroom educator because during individual tutor sessions, the tutor uses his/her training and unearths the intricacies of the student’s individual needs, learning style, learning preferences, and abilities. Communication of such relevant information builds the parent’s trust in the tutor as that tutor demonstrates competency with helping the student reach higher academic goals.

Effective Communication

What is effective Communication?  Habit number five in Dr. Stephen R. Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People summarizes effective communication – “Seek first to understand and then to be understood” (1989, p. 237). This premise requires that an effective communicator consider a perspective other than their own.

Chambers (1990, p.26) notes two critical components of communication:

  1. The content of the delivered message, and
  2. The emotional impact of the message on the receiver.

Given the fact that our contact with the parent or teacher may be limited, tutors must master the art of listening. During conversation, let the parent or teacher know that you have heard what they are saying.  When parents and teachers realize you have been listening, the foundation for trust is established.

Beware – even if you believe the parent’s or teacher’s perception is wrong – make a mental note and use your people skills to get credible information into their hands about the matter at hand.  This method of operation builds credibility, respect, and trust for you as their tutor of choice because you have now tactfully recognized and honored that parent or teacher.

Empathy

Training and professional development provides tutors with content knowledge.  However, to gain insight about the emotional impact of a message on the receiver, the tutor must make the time to listen to that parent or teacher and grasp their perspective or perception. This leads to the last element of a strong relationship, empathy. Creating a positive relationship with the parent and teacher is as crucial to a successful tutorial outcome as creating a positive relationship with your student.

What distinguishes parents and teachers?  Typical parents want their children to succeed no matter what, which means sometimes with and sometimes without their help.  Typical teachers understand pedagogy, and possess a constraint of academic performance demonstrated through testing that drives their view of their students.

Combine this baseline understanding with the fact that people’s (parents and teachers) concerns, needs, feelings, values, principles, perspectives, perceptions, goals, and interests are determined by their personal experiences and education.  With active listening, the tutor paints a canvas for the teacher or parent as an individual, versus stereotypical judgment fueled by how people dress, speak, or handle conflict.

Combining Trust, Effective Communication and Empathy

With the three pillars of effective relationships (trust, effective communication and empathy), in place, the tutor brings the strategy full circle by engaging in the following activities:

  1. Writing effective emails and correspondence with attention to tone from the perspective of the parent or teacher.
  2. Communicating in a way that calms rather than aggravates the parent or teacher causing them to see you as an ally rather than an adversary.
  3. Planning presentation, interviews, and/or meetings with the perspective of the attendees (whether parent or faculty) perspective in mind.

The preceding article was excerpted from the Advanced section of the Crossroads of Learning Tutoring Foundations Online Training and Classroom Workbook.tutor training programs. This curriculum articulates with certification requirements of the NTA (National Tutoring Association) and the CRLA (College Reading and Learning Association) and CEUs granted by Fielding Graduate University, Santa Barbara, CA.

Crossroads of Learning also provides  many free resources including an online community of interest for one-to-one educators (discussions, meeting areas, blogs, file sharing, etc.), a library of helpful Internet tools, the Journal, and Tutoring Town Hall interactive webcasts with timely subjects and experts in the field.  For more information visit www.crossroadsoflearning.com or Bob Lasiewicz, Managing Director, Crossroads of Learning, at 818.249.9692 ext 1, BL@crossroadsoflearning.com.

Filed under: Tutoring Practices

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